Sinead Corcoran Dye is up there with one of the funniest women I’ve ever met. The formal NZ Herald Entertainment Editor’s social media includes hilarious updates about her life, but also frank and honest conversations about the tough stuff, too. For example, her pregnancy and post-natal experience, which ultimately landed her in Auckland’s psych ward. She’s now in the midst of writing a book about her experience with Moa Press, an imprint of Hachette, and she’s determined to help other mums, too. (And she is in great company; some of the greatest books ever published include incredible women who had stints in wards, think Sylvia Plath, our own Janet Frame, and more).
We met for a lunch at Prego with our hair coiffed and heels on (which is French for we’d both separately been at Pilates and actually had the post exercise fresh dew look and were both concerned about whether we’d remembered to put on deodorant, which is kind of cute, in retrospect, like a little friend first date). We had been connected by a mutual friend wanting to know if Nappkin could provide funding for a maternity nanny for a night. Now I’m pleased to have her own board as our very first ambassador.
Sinead’s experience started in pregnancy, which she describes as “horrendous”.
“I had “the worst case of hyperemesis” my obstetrician had seen in his 25-year career,” she says. “I was in and out of hospital throughout my pregnancy and was hospitalised every 48 hours in the last month as I was constantly so dehydrated and malnourished from not keeping down any food or water.”
Then when it came to the birth of her daughter, she had to be put to sleep for her caesarean section after experiencing a panic attack on the operating “due to being so physically and mentally ruined”.
It’s Sinead’s candid way of telling her story that makes her so affable and relatable to her followers.
Sadly, things went more downhill after birth, and she unknowingly developed post-natal depression.
“While I didn’t have any of the typical emotional symptoms of PND – like crying, feelings of hopelessness etc – I was struck down with horrendous physical symptoms like migraines, nausea and vomiting, fevers and chills and insomnia. Neither my husband nor I had ever heard of PND presenting physically instead of emotionally – so we didn’t spot the signs in time.”
It wasn’t until two weeks later that her mother-in-law came for a visit and told her husband Sinead needed to go to the GP immediately. “She said my skin was grey and I looked dead behind the eyes.”
Her GP sent her straight to her psychiatrist who immediately referred her to Starship’s Mum & Baby psych ward, and she was admitted that afternoon. She stayed a week, being treated with medication and talk therapy. It was about this point that she was referred to Nappkin. At present, the threshold to receive funding for night nanny services from Maternal Mental Health is very high. Even with a week-long stint in the ward, Sinead was not eligible for funding.
“Despite being a patient with Maternal Mental Health throughout my pregnancy with ever deteriorating mental health which then turned into PND, I assume due to their lack of resources which are only provided to women with even more severe cases than me, I was unable to access a funded night nanny even when I was admitted to Starship – something my husband and I would have greatly benefitted from.
“Because the crippling sleep deprivation that comes with any new baby, on top of my c-section recovery, PND and pre-existing mental health condition that means I already have very high sleep needs – I was drowning. And while a full night’s sleep wouldn’t have been a magic wand to fix it all, it would have really helped. Particularly because my husband has a hectic full-time job that requires him to work all hours, and we have two other children to care for. But thankfully, my husband’s wonderful colleague got in touch with Nappkin and asked if you guys might consider providing our family some nighttime help, so we could both catch up on some much-needed sleep. While we have saved this “voucher” so to speak for a rainy day – in case my mental health takes a turn for the worse again – I couldn’t be more grateful to that colleague, and to you – knowing that I had access to help was honestly a lifeline in what was my darkest days.”
Her symptoms greatly improved after being put back on medication that she’d been taken off during pregnancy. “I’m also so passionate about destigmatising mental health medication, as I believe we should treat it no differently than any other medication – like a diabetic who takes insulin. Our brains are just another organ in the body, and there is no shame in needing to take a pill to keep it working properly.”
Sinead has been very public with her experiences on Instagram, in particular, she has had overwhelming positive responses from other mums.
“Since going public with my PND story on Instagram – a place that is typically just a “highlights reel” of the beautifully filtered, perfect parts of people’s lives, I have been inundated with lovely messages from fellow mums who have battled PND and never spoken out about it, because social media never felt a safe space to do so. I hope that by sharing my story I am shining a light on an illness that affects 25 percent of women – in the hopes it will make them feel less alone. I am so hugely passionate about sharing the hard stuff on Instagram as well as the good – because I want to use my tiny corner of the internet to make people feel better, not worse. I want to be a friend to them – even if I don’t know them in real life.”
Her advice to new mums is to listen to their bodies. “You know your own body and mind better than anyone. If you don’t feel “right” after having your baby, or you have any inkling that what you’re experiencing feels worse than what it should after having a baby – go see your GP as soon as you can. Or at the very least, phone a mum friend and ask how she felt after having a baby – and get her to tell you if what you’re experiencing sounds worse than that. Don’t wait around hoping it will get better, and certainly don’t grin and bear it.”
She says she is passionate about helping change the incredibly high rate of PND we have in New Zealand.
“Since becoming a mum, and particularly since battling PND – I’m absolutely now in my “philanthropic era.” Whenever I’ve had any spare time in the last six months since my daughter was born – in between wrangling her and working, I’ve dedicated to raising awareness and donations for kids in poverty charities, hyperemesis fundraisers and more. And while I will continue to do so – becoming an ambassador for Nappkin is such an incredible honour as it’s the cause closest to my heart. Because aside from my medication – if it wasn’t for my husband’s colleague and the generosity of you Hannah arranging the option of night help for me, my daughter Vivie might not have her mum here today. We truly cannot underestimate the importance of sleep when it comes to physically or emotionally healing – and the idea that Nappkin and the work they do to help mums might save a life and save a child’s mum – I can’t think of a bigger privilege than being part of that.”
And we are so privileged to have you, too, Sinead.
For mums that are struggling – you are not alone. If you are experiencing symptoms of post-partum depression right now and need urgent assistance, please contact your GP and/or the helplines available on the Ministry of Health website – https://www.health.govt.nz/…/helpf…/postnatal-depression
If you’d like to apply for a funded night through Nappkin, contact us via social media or email us at nappkincharity@gmail.com.
hannah norton writes 